Dear Bramble!

Dear Bramble,

I’m very sorry about not being able to be right there with you last weekend, my dear son! How I looked forward to romping around the old palace with you! I think it’s wonderful if they include you in the wedding, my son, but do not be disappointed if they decide that it is “bi-peds only” affair! You know from last weekend that when people are dressed in finery, they sometimes do not want a humble clumber around! Whilst we can obviously be a lot of fun, and even add elegance to the proceedings, there is the chance that this Mike and Mr. ABC will not want white fur and drool all over their tuxedoes! But keep heart, dear Bramble, I’m sure you will be in Katharine’s heart, even if you are not in her wedding party!

I’ve just been reading Katharine’s blog, and she sounds so young! I’m an old dog, but when I read things like

I don’t know why life is so hard. I don’t know how to find peace in this world

it makes me very sad. Bi-peds make it all so complicated. My friend, Rowan, Bishop of Playing has much to say on healthy ministries that can be engaged in. He is especially partial to the ministries of jumping, running, digging, and barking, which I feel certain all canines can approve of. I pray for dear Katharine. You must show her the beauty and fun in life. Here’s a quick video to show her that should make her glad to be alive and to know a good dog like you, Bramble. Perhaps you have a stream nearby and you can show her what fun playing catch with yourself can be! Even better is to let the bi-ped throw the ball for you to catch and return to them! Show her the fun in the world, dear Bramble!

In the meantime, your Mr. ABC seems to be a little lost and foggy-brained in his new assignment over there! I know he was over here someplace and seemed to indicate that we’re walking a tightrope or precipice or something. He even went on to say we’re disintegrating, and then by having those 6 bishops visit him! Well let’s just say that he’s missed the point of Jesus! Also, he obviously thinks it’s his job to hold it all together!

I cannot even begin to tell you how muddled his thinking is! The church is not his to hold together! He’s not strong enough to do it! He’s spent too many years in corporations, thinking that all of this is his doing or his actions or his work! Dear Bramble, all I can say is “What a typical biped!”. I shall pray for him, and notify Bishop Maya, Bishop Airdale, and Bishop Rowan that prayers are needed! They are all good and loyal bishops who understand much more than I where bi-peds can and will go wrong. I always seem to expect more from them than they deliver. But hope is a good thing, Bramble!

On the Western front, it appears that the new bi-ped in Italy is handing Mr. ABC his arse!  Now son, I know it’s not a competition, but encouraging the flock is the job! Or at least it was when +I was the Bishop of Pittsburgh! Tell Mr. ABC to get off the dime (sorry, that expression may have no meaning for an English Clumber! – it means to get going!). Stories like this “Pope Francis celebrates Mass with wafers made by Argentine inmate” are just putting him to shame! Truly, what’s needed is leadership actions, not leadership words!!! It’s time for him to demonstrate leadership, not this mealy mouthed hogwash he’s been spouting! I’m sorry to tell you all this, my son, but Mr. ABC is very close to being a lost soul. Perhaps you can look for opportunities to coach him forward in this area! He must stop talking and start doing! Talking is like a shovel for him, he can only dig himself a hole from which he cannot escape. He must learn to build up, not dig in and down! I read one story where Francis told the crowd in St Peter’s Square:  ‘All of you in the square shouted out “Francis, Francis, Pope Francis”, but where was Jesus? I want to hear you shout out “Jesus, Jesus is Lord, and he is in our midst.”’

That’s the stuff that catches bi-peds’ imaginations and hearts, and moves them  to action, dear Bramble!  When Mr. ABC talks it comes out all different, and not in a good way! It was reputed in one story that “he likened the collective behaviour of the church to a “drunk man” staggering ever closer to the edge of a cliff.” Tell me he really didn’t say that, my son. That catches nothing other than a few newspaper people who have nothing better to write! And it does nothing to build up! He’s put himself in the tearing down squad!

Well, I should go now and get this in the mail to you. I know you are confused right now, but remember, Mr. ABC might be your master, but there is only one true Master, Jesus, and if you follow him and let your heart be guided by the Holy Spirit, it will all turn out well.

Your loving father,

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