Barkings Of An Old Dog

All you dogs and dogettes know the drill by now. Play nice. Share your squeaky toys. No biting at each others ankles. And above all, be kind.

This trip has nothing to do with grandpups.

And just to squelch the rumors before they start, I will not be going to Pittsburgh to evict BobbyP±± from my office.

Peace, out.

The dogs back in Clumber Labs have been working overtime, getting the bugs out of this Anglican Innovation… the Archbishop’s Talking Sorting Hat. Inspired by the popular H. Potter series, this hat will assist Rowan in doing proper sorting before the gathering.

Which Anglican house do you belong in: Covenantindor, Episcopuff, GAFclaw, or Gayorin? The Sorting Hat will tell you. Press the button and it will call out the name, plus it quotes several legendary lines from past Anglican power plays.

Remember the legendary line from Wales and England when they contemplated women bishops? (see also MadPriest’s addendum “That Will Be Doctrinal Matter”)

Hmmmm. Difficult, very difficult.

And they ever popular “Gene Robinson” line:

Plenty of courage I see. Not a bad mind, either. There’s talent, oh yes, and a thirst to prove yourself. But where to put you? After all, you’re honest about being gay.

The scientists in the lab may have more before the gathering. Stay tuned.

Be a Sheepdog

Double wag of the tail to Yearning for God, even if it’s a little too strenuous for clumber++ to be out in the field anymore.

A Dark Rotten Mess for a Heart and Guts

It’s such a catchy little title, don’t you think? Overflowing with optimism and cheer in a cheerless world. I was close to calling it “Good News for All”, but realized that ignored the reality of all you people out there with black rotting disgusting guts and hearts. Well, ta ta for now…

Today’s Hostilium (and I’m not pointing over there anymore, it seems to raise blood pressures too much - not mine, but others):

2. I would then further challenge you Lovely Liberal Revisionists to say what you have faith In. It’s all very well to say, blithely and happily, ‘I have faith in God and Jesus makes me happy’, or something, but what do you mean by Jesus? Because I would seriously venture that we don’t agree even remotely on who Jesus, or God, is or what he has done and why.

Well so frickin’ what. That’s the beauty of the Anglican World, to a lot of us. There doesn’t need to be lockstep agreement. We are not a confessional church. Nobody signs a letter of agreement on all the “stuff” in the Anglican world (at least not yet). Are you saying that to qualify to be good Christians we need to believe an approved set of beliefs? If so, Clumber++, with all of the authority of my position as First Canine Bishop of Pittsburgh, says “Bite me!”. I’m sure Jane and Mary Clara and Mimi and Tandaina will all have educated things to say in response to the latest, but I have places to go and butts to sniff (hey, that’s how dogs recognize each other!), so you all are on your own today.

Oh, and just to answer the question: My faith is simple. In the end, it’s all gonna turn out okay. In fact, it’ll be better than okay. In the end I will be welcomed to God’s kennel and God will say to me “Well done, Clumber, it’s good to see your face. Here’s a doggie treat just for you.”

There is some indication that the regular rules of logic and common sense have been suspended in the Southern Tier of New York today in favour of random firings of unstable neurons (hey, maybe that can be my excuse too!):

Exhibit One: Noted Christian Cardiologist sees into the hearts of all Episcopal Priests, declares need for humility, in which she has a major holding.

Exhibit Two: Braying of donkeys, mules, and jackasses wakes up the neighbors
(here’s a tip for you, any guy with “mullet” in his pen name has probably not got a firm grip on reality)

And my artwork of the day to accompany this, in honour of all these maroons. The title is close to what this implies, but could perhaps be amended to be “endorsed by hate, fear, and injustice”.

Update: Holy Crap, Clumber++ does something right…. go read this… Snow on Roses is so classy, I’m surprised that I’m mentioned there!

Edward Lorenz 1917-2008
Rest in Peace, Good and Faithful Scientist

Dr. Lorenz is best known for the notion of the “butterfly effect,” the idea that a small disturbance like the flapping of a butterfly’s wings can induce enormous consequences.

Which I believe I’ve heard in more than one sermon….

Turn your amp up to 11 and press play. Wag of the tail to Hill’s Country for this one!

Look, I worked for a big corporation for a long time. I went to “my office”, used “my computer” and called people on “my phone”. And as I left that job, I never even thought about packing up “my stuff” to take it with me to my next job.

Good luck to Father Mass Progeny and Mother Hostilium, but in New York, as in most places, you leave and the silverware stays in the drawer. The Vestry (provided the priest is competent) gets told this on day 1. We hold this “stuff” for the Episcopal generations to come. It’s the Bishop’s job to take the keys back, unless you want to reach a settlement and buy the stuff (and weren’t they trying to do just that?). But go ahead and try the legal route if you can afford it. This is one where I may even kick in a few dog biscuits to help Bishop Skip. What a pair of gits. And don’t even get me started on the “righteous right” over there on Limpville saying that this is “the good fight”. It’s stupidity, written in a 96 pt. bold font.

Update (4/17/2008): Binghamton Press/Sun-Bulletin Article

You know by now that Clumber++ has never been one for a lot of words. So to aid you in visualizing Kaetonium’s quiz, I’ve constructed an aid to help you answer the question correctly:

And in case you were wondering about the title of this post:
Gonna Buy Me a Dog

(Tommy Boyce/Bobby Hart)

Lead Vocal: Michael Nesmith
Acoustic Guitar: James Burton, Glen Campbell, Al Casey,
James Helms, Don Peake, & Peter Tork
Bass: William Pitman
Drums: Hal Blaine, Frank Devito, & Jim Gordon
Percussion: Gary Coleman
Produced By: Michael Nesmith
Recorded At: Western Recorders Studio 2, Hollywood
Date: July 7, 1966
Although a version of Boyce/Hart’s “Gonna Buy Me A Dog” with Nesmith on vocals was attempted, it was never finished. The song, featuring Micky and Davy, would be produced by the writers later on.

Lyrics:

You know my girl just called me up
And she woke me from my sleep
You should have heard the things she said
You know she hurt my feelings deep.
I’m gonna buy me a dog
‘Cause I need a friend now.
I’m gonna buy me a dog,
My girl, my girl, don’t love me no how.
She used to bring me my newspaper.
‘Cause she knew where it was at.
She used to keep me so contented.
But I can teach a dog to do that.
I’m gonna buy me a dog,
‘Cause I need a friend now
I’m gonna buy me a dog,
My girl, my girl, don’t love me no how.
How
I’m gonna buy me a dog,
‘Cause I need a friend now
I’m gonna buy me a dog,
My girl, my girl, don’t love me no how.