This morning’s paper brought an announcement of a new museum exhibit, which helped me to remember that we’ve been keeping the new “Clumber Museum of Play” under wraps for far too long!
Herewith, the Clumber Museum of Play’s new Grossology Exhibit!
Grossology helps guests of all ages better understand how the Anglican church body works, and what we can do to help it function better and in a more healthful manner.
PLEASE NOTE: Words such as “snot,” “boogers,” “barf,” “puke,” “StandFirm”, and “fart” appear in Grossology.
Here are a few exhibit highlights:
“Bobby PittsburgH” Nose It All – Activate this 9-foot animatronic figure to learn about the nose, and allergies, sinuses, dripping, and more - especially dripping!
Church Skin Climbing Wall – Discover the features of the church skin as you climb across this wall complete with warts, wounds, hair, moles, and pimples. See how thick it is in some places, and how translucently thin in others! Remember, the church body isn’t all eyes and ears and hands, sometimes its hemorrhoids and heartburn and herpes too!
Burp Man - aka “John-David” – Help this larger-than-life character belch by pumping soda pop from a three-foot can to make him drink and increase his stomach pressure until a resounding belch rings across the church body!
Vomit Center – Learn the many reasons humans vomit by pressing buttons and watching the church body parts light up.
Y U Stink – Pew! Match the church body odors with the parts of the church body they come from: mouth, armpits, lower intestines, StandFirm authors, Fort Worth, San Joaquin, PittsburgH, and feet.
Clumber has done enough for one day, and must curl up for a snooze now!
Good boy Clumber! Extra treats for this one.