Woof, woof - Free your mind and your DOG will follow
Let me get this straight. There’s room in the article to mention Jake and Susan Russell, and even Kendall Harmon and StandFirm, and there’s not word one about MadPriest? Doesn’t Episcopal Life have an editor who can look at this stuff? Rewrite on Sean’s article needed ASAP!
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For some odd reason, I feel compelled to crib this today:
The Road to Emmaus Syracuse:
“Were not our hearts burning inside us as he talked to us on the road and explained the scriptures to us?”
Well, to be honest, burning is not the adjective I’d personally use. There’s something left over in my being from my time in corporate life that when it hears about 6 way strategies to enhance the bottom line net-net growth experience of the Christian life in DCNY (or whatever the hell was said) that makes me just shudder. It reminds me of a Garrison Keillor article:
But you open the envelope, and it isn’t your final notice. It is a memo announcing that Amalgamated Potato is about to transform itself through Total Quality Organization, a team-oriented leadership process in which power flows holistically, and you will spend three days next week at a seminar being empowered.
So you report to the seminar center, a big white concrete-origami structure with skylights and indoor trees and maple floors and modular furniture in primary colors, and you sit in a circle of potato employees with loose-leaf notebooks on their laps (Tools for Transformation), listening to a young facilitator named Terri explain how TQO works. She is friendly in a robotic way, as if she had taken one of those personal-development courses where they train you to look the other person in the eye when you speak to him and always say his name.
“Our business isn’t potatoes; it’s helping people live and work to their full potential,” she says. “This is a team process; management does not ‘make decisions’; management empowers the team-leadership process.”
Oh, you think. I see.
The words holistic, leadership, process, quality and commitment crop up everywhere–sentences like “The commitment to quality is a holistic value structure throughout the leadership process that is accessed dynamically through all functions of the organization from the bottom up.” Sentences that, the moment you hear them, they’re gone, like gas.
A lot of you probably have doubts as to whether Clumber exists or not. After all, at the World Wide OCICBW party, Clumber was a no-show. Well now we have proof from the Convention that Clumber is real. However I’m concerned about the company that klady keeps, as this photo clearly shows:
Sexiest Animal on the Planet - African Cichlids
Good job Brian!
News you can use, before it happens!
Liverpool, NY: November 17, 2007. The Bishop of Central New York today reported blah blah blah. It was followed by reports by several other diocesan officials who reported similar findings. A vote was taken. Everyone said the Holiday Inn did a nice job. People went home, glad that the convention was only a day and a half long.
News you can use, before it happens!
Liverpool, NY: November 17, 2007
The Department of Physics at Syracuse University was called in to investigate a possible tear in the fabric of space-time today. Ms. Sarah Jones was interviewed shortly after reporting the anomaly and had this to say: “It was unbelievable! The Bishop began to speak to us at exactly 10:03. I’m sure, because I looked at my watch and at the watch of my good friend Jean Smythwick. After speaking to us for I’m what I’m sure was a good hour or hour and a half, I once again looked at my watch and to my surprise it read precisely 10:09. I once again consulted Mrs. Smythwicks’s watch and it agreed with mine. The only possible explanation is that space-time had somehow been warped in the Liverpool Holiday Inn Conference Center!”
The Department of Physics spokesperson, Dr. Higgs Boson had no comment at press time.
News you can use, before it happens!
Liverpool, NY: Today, November 17, 2007, three people attending the Convention of the Diocese of New York were slightly injured during the proceedings when their heads hit the table in front of them. Apparently the trio were benumbed by the proceedings. Oddly, the Diocesan staff said that this trio actually saved the attenders from a greater tragedy when Mr. Edgar Smithwick’s head hit the table with a resounding noise which awoke approximately 100 other people who were similarly close to suffering the same fate. The trio, in essence, served as “canaries in the mine” to warn of the danger to others whose tolerance levels for BS were higher than the suffering trio. The three were treated and released by the Holiday Inn staff.
Okay, those of you who know me probably think I made this picture up. Others will say I’m being paranoid. But I tell you, this is an actual picture of the shoe of an actual bishop with what I consider to be a kindly, pastoral missive to Clumber about this blog. I know it’s subtle, but the “Hush Puppies” is clearly a statement of blogological and probably theological conviction and belief. I wonder if Rowan the dog and other blog-pups out there have gotten a similar message from their bishops?
I’ll probably ignore this just like I ignore most of what all those hardworking bishops say.
Bobby P has one.
And Jack has one.
Where’s John-David’s? Seems like he should have been been first, no?
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