Barkings Of An Old Dog

I’ll be away for a few days, so catch you all later, people! Play nice while I’m gone! And stop trying to fool us dogs with that “pretend to throw the ball” trick… It’s not funny or nice…

woof

The wonderful Sarah Dylan Breuer has issued an invitation to all the thoughtful folks out there to see if they “can come up with a list of important points we actually agree on.” I don’t mean to be a complete dog about this, but my immediate reaction to this is - so what?

Immediately some person writes in that the Virgin Birth is absolutely critical. Huh, It is? You see, this really rubs clumber the wrong way, this whole “where do we agree” thing… it strikes me as just a re-wording of the whole covenant thing all over again.

I am not convinced that even if we had a core set of, say, 5 things that are absolutely essential that we’ve really achieved anything. Does that get us closer to God? Does it help us in our journey? We’ve got the catechism in the BCP. You and you and you and I can interpret the meaning in different ways and yet when it comes time to worship I firmly believe that we can be one body. I think the tent is big, bigger than we can even imagine. I think that inclusion is preferable to exclusion. I think that compassion is better than judgement.

SDB says “I believe that Jesus is really present in the sacrament of the Eucharist.” I say I don’t even think about it… it’s not important. We come together, we are fed, we are the body of Christ. To seek to “understand” what the Eucharist is is a waste of neurons. Jesus said “do this” which is good enough for me. I am fed, you are fed, we all are fed. Enough. You are fed in a different way than I am? Okay, I can live with that. Same for most of the Bible. You want to believe in a virgin birth, in water into wine literally, into walking on water, in bodily ressurection? Great, just don’t make those things core values that we all have to agree on. Doesn’t our human (and canine) condition imply that we can’t understand it all, we can’t imagine it all?

We used to have a priest who graded his sermons from 1 to 4 on intellectual complexity. He said that most of his sermons to us were 2’s, and that sometimes he gave us a 3 but had yet to use a 4… and I loved it. Intellectual complexity was meat and gravy and potatoes for me. Then a funny thing happened. Our next priest gave us simple sermons that had layer upon layer to ponder. They were like Christ’s parables. Simple stories that you could chew on for a lifetime. Bones that clumber could carry away and remember all week, all month, all life… I congratulate the theologians out there who study and work for real intellectual understanding of Christ. I really do. I’m not one of those, and I don’t think that was Christ’s message for us. It’s like in the movie Bull Durham where the catcher says something like “This is a simple game, you throw the ball, you hit the ball, you catch the ball”… you start thinking too much and you can’t play the game.

You see, I continue to believe the Anglican Pub motto, If you want to be here, we want you here. Now turn to page 361 in your BCP…

In light of today’s news from MIT, I present the one and only MIT joke I know….

A young man is checking out in a grocery store in Central Square one day, and he has about 25 items, and yet is using the “8 items or less” checkout. The cashier, taking one quick look at the young man and figuring him to be a local student says “Tell me son, are you from Harvard and can’t count, or from MIT and can’t read?”…. bada boom…

Well, in the last few days we’ve found out 2 important bits of news concerning the Archbishop, and they got me thinking.

The first bit of news is that apparently our dear Rowan will spend part of his summertime at Georgetown.

The second part is that he doesn’t drive.

I’m still trying to piece this together, but clearly whatever travel agency he’s using for this trip has failed to serve him well… he’s coming over to the US and staying in Washington, DC. I submit that he’s so far from experiencing the US that we need to assist his plans a bit. I also suddenly understood a little bit of Rowan the academic, who doesn’t even know how to drive… how’s this poor man going to grasp the U.S…. the enormity of the states, the freedom and warmth and wildness of this country along with the civility and coldness of the capitol. I suggest we put together an itinerary for him, and if part of that is in my neighborhood, well, I’ll even drive him around. Oh, and dress casually. You won’t be recognized most of the places we’re going…

First, he needs to visit the Chapel of the Transfiguration in the Grand Teton National Park.

Next, down to Louisiana to have a chat with Mimi.

Possibly to New Mexico next… I’m thinking Santa Fe. Wonderful church there which I went to a couple of years back as a tourist.

I’m looking for your ideas here…

And the point of all this? Well, Rowan, you have the rest of your life to study and pray and meet local leaders. Don’t come to America to hole up someplace… It reminds me of one of the few sermons I remember… it was by Brother Timothy at Holy Cross Monastery maybe 10 or even 15 years ago… he was telling us that as a young man growing up in Tennessee, he got the chance to travel to France, and that had made all the difference in his life direction. Brother Timothy then threw out a question which I think is rather relevant here… if you travel, and that travel does not change you, then in what sense have you really gone somewhere? Okay, probably Brother Timothy said nothing of the sort, but this is what I heard in the sermon. So Rowan, you travel to the US to do pretty much what you do back home. In what way can you honestly say that this trip has changed you? I submit that you need to enter deeper in the U.S. and spend some time with the people, not the local leaders. We’ve a Sunday kitchen for the homeless here that could use an extra hand. New Orleans could use a pair of hands to help. My dear readers, I’d like 10 things for the Archbishop to go to and experience to help him understand the United States, to feel like he’s actually been here, and not there…

Update 1: I’m looking for suggestions of things that would allow him feel that he has a full understanding of what being an Episcopalian in the United States of America in the year 2007 is all about. So, there’s the rules, what are your ideas? Perhaps worship with the folks in Falls Church who meet over in the Presbyterian church now because they’ve lost their property? Maybe we need to send him to some mega-church to see what the American religious climate is like? Ideas wanted!

Update 2: Dostoevsky??? clumber sighs….

Have at it, you dogs and bitches….

Nina’s entry (in thought and word, if not in deed)… and may God have mercy on my soul!!!

Madpriest has brought to our attention another “thought du jour” from the ABC… and while he may not know quite what to say, this dog still knows how to PhotoShop his way into your hearts and minds. Seems to me that after all this stuff from the Archbishop like this and his talk about interpreting Romans correctly, and his utter silence concerning laws in Nigeria, and border crossing priests and bishops, and his own priests trying to get his attention, that this is my only response:

They’ve included me in their “Additional Favorites” list, although they got the blog name wrong…

Well, there goes the neighborhood! Check all the people for fleas and make sure the dog has had his shots!

Well, nobody else is stupid enough to enter my contest I proposed over at OCICBW, so I’m going to take a wild crack at it… I know, this is exactly what I accused Bishop Spong of, graffiti art, but what can I say, I’m just a dog…

Click on the picture above for a lovely trailer, in case you don’t remember the movie with Rosie Greer and Ray Milland! It has to be on someone’s “10 Worst” list!

Okay, now it’s your turn to PhotoShop this puppy, the original is available under google image search… look for “the thing with two heads” and start up GIMP or PhotoShop, for those with money…